THOUGHTS, MUSES AND RANTS OF JAH

  Society likes to tell mothers that their babies are “gifts” to the hopeful adoptive parents so it paints a prettier picture than the truth of relinquishment.   I hear people call adoptees “gifts.” Human beings aren’t gifts to be given away. This infuriates me every time I hear it. I am not a possession, even though adoption tried to turn me into one. The “gift” I wanted was to grow up in my own family. I didn’t want to grow up with strangers. If adoption was supposed to be in my best interest, then why doesn’t anyone care what I wanted? Calling an adoptee a gift erases the loss that made that adoption possible. It ignores the separation. It ignores the grief. It ignores the lifelong impact of being removed from your own bloodline. No one calls forced separation a gift. But when adoption is wrapped in sentimentality, suddenly the trauma gets ignored as long as the outcome makes someone else happy. And this is what hurts the most, my loss was never considered as important as t...

This is a true story written by Andrea Tate. I am re-writing it as fiction about me.   I Canceled Thanksgiving After My Wife And In-Laws Voted For Trump. I Didn’t Expect What Happened Next. “My wife went to her parents’ house without me. When she arrived home, I could see something had changed.” Last year, I wrote and published an essay entitled, “My Wife And Her Family Voted For Trump, So I’m Canceling Thanksgiving And Christmas.” It immediately went viral. I’ve never had an essay receive that much attention, with over a million views in just a few hours. I stood up straighter. I felt lighter. My step had a bounce, and I felt inspired to keep moving and do even more. This is what writers dream of — creating something that touches a large audience and makes them feel less alone, especially in the wake of what felt like such a tragedy. Though my wife and I share very different political views, she was initially happy for me. What spouse wouldn’t celebrate their partner’s success? Sh...

INTRODUCTION When a baby is removed from their families at birth for care proceedings, it causes "acute pain and stress" to everyone involved, from families to professionals, an evidence and case law review published by the Nuffield Family Justice Observatory has found. Notice that the term “from families to professionals” seemingly excludes the infant, whether intentionally or not. I profess to say it is intentional. No one gives any thought to the baby. In fact, less thought than breeders give to a pup or foal. Go and try to adopt a newborn pup; caring breeders will take a deposit, but you will not be able to bring the pup home until it has been weaned from its mom, not so with trafficked infants—no wonder we are screwed up. We are more concerned with the health and nutrition of our dairy cows than with those of our children. Who truly are the savages? The review highlighted the psychological impact that state intervention has on birth mothers and babies, saying, "The ...